I don't want to date you, but I'll go on a TV show where that's the premise

On my way home from work today, I spotted Alex whatever-his-last-name-is, the bachelor from the first season of, well, The Bachelor (the guy in the picture), and it got me thinking about something that’s been bugging me for a while. I had wanted to write something about the degeneration of reality television, and though I’ve touched on it before, I never really got to the meat of the issue. While The Bachelor was never a fantastic hour of television, and its original concept relied on a sexist premise, it still featured real people on the show to find love (along with the 15-minutes-of-famers). Over the years participants who opt to be on reality shows for anything but some form of fame have since become few and far between, and this shift can best be summed up by what I call the “Love” shows on VH1 and MTV.

The “Love” series, if you don’t know what I’m referring to include the following reality programs: Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, I Love New York, I Love Money, both seasons of Charm School (yes no “love” in the title, but it’s the same cast), Real Chance at Love, A Shot at Love, A Double Shot at Love, and That’s Amore: love, Italian style. Drew Barrymore (yet another reason why I don’t like her) is even Executive Producing a relationship boot camp show called Tough Love currently in production for VH1. In these shows participants compete for “catches” like Flavor Flav, Bret Michaels, Tila Tequila (the internet non-celeb), and Tiffany ‘New York’ Pollard (famous for being spit on by ‘Pumpkin’ in the first season of Flavor of Love). What almost shocks me the most is that I’ve heard that cast members have to be STD-free, though I’m pretty sure that anyone who has hooked up with Bret Michaels no longer fits into that category.

The shows demonstrate how far ‘reality’ television has devolved, a seemingly recurrent theme in my musings on this site. All of the programs are scripted to some degree, the challenges are outlandish and frankly, embarrassing for the contestants, and I doubt anyone on the shows is genuinely interested in the stars of the show. Even The Bachelor has changed over the seasons: the women have become younger and Valley Girl speak more common. While the ABC program doesn’t compare to the baseness of the VH1 and MTV counterparts, they both have come to include similar casting choices, and stunts to spike ratings. I understand that from a network perspective, these shows will continue as long as people keep watching them, and while I’ll admit I’ve seen an episode or more of these programs, I certainly can’t tune in for an entire season. The shows might be cheap to produce and easy to stage, but their content is dumbing down television and encouraging negative American stereotypes. I think I’ll stick to scripted fare.

Cribs Are For Babies. My 8 Year Old Need a King Mattress.

While I used to watch Saturday morning cartoons, today I decided to start my day with a little Cribs action on MTV. This week's episodes (yes, plural) featured teenagers with sweeter homes than I can ever hope to own. During this recession it's really great to see parents who have spent money to put movie theaters, tree houses, slides, and elevators in their homes along with other unnecessary, but still really friggin cool, items. Let me just get this out of the way before I continue: of COURSE I'm jealous that I don't have a secret passageway to equally secret rooms that hide pinball machines and 60" flat screen televisions. However, the theme of the episodes, at least the ones featuring 'real' children (rather than celebrities) seemed to be: how to keep your child from ever leaving the house.

I read an article a few months ago in the New York Times about how parents are creating havens for their children at home. Play rooms, video game areas, special toys, ice cream bars, pools, tree houses, go carts, everything to keep their children on the property. According to the article, and messages celebrated in the episode I watched, if your kid's at home, you always know what they're doing. Kids just running around the neighborhood building tree forts has been replaced by structured play time enabled by parental shopping sprees, and pre-fabricated tree houses all ready to safely be played in without any initial effort from the kids. Pick up baseball or basketball games at the local fields are no longer needed because Tommy has a full basketball court in his backyard. While some of this oppulence will probably be tempered by the economy, the fundamental nature of children's play time seems shaped by a new cultural rubric.

I'm not condoning simply letting your child loose on society without a care in the world, but the lengths to which these parents are spending money to cater their home almost solely to the needs of their children seems excessive; and in my opinion, accustoms them to getting everything they want in life, which at least right now, is not a reasonable expectation for anyone to have.

Top Chef? No, Top Simile

Is it just me or is the new Top Chef judge, Toby Young simply rife with poor metaphors and similes? I just felt the need to express how deeply I miss Gail. PLEASE COME BACK, GAIL. I don't care if you miss the end of your honeymoon, I can't stand this British buffoon. Give me Simon Cowell or give me death, which is a phrase I never thought I'd say. I still love the show, don't get me wrong, but I find myself laughing (along with cast members and judge Tom Colicchio) AT this guy, rather than with him. His first week he madea crack about how classically trained British actors equate to good vegetables, and this week told us that meat makes him want to have sex. I don't need him to remind me that British people are awesome, and I certainly don't want to know about his habits in the bedroom (or it looks like in his case, the kitchen).

P.S. If you haven't already seen, my post about Judd Apatow is up on the Paley Center site here.

Bush wants his last 15 minutes of fame.

When I read this article, I found it almost laughable that the President of the United States has trouble securing network airtime, but then I saw that his address would rupture my viewing of The Office. I don't really need to hear that Bush's greatest success as President was his EFFORT to privatize Social Security again, so… please don't ruin The Office for me, and Grey's Anatomy for the people that haven't yet realized that Grey's is a glorified bad soap opera (excuse me, serial). It's not fair!

Note: Doesn't he look super cute with his little American flag? Toss in one of those multi-colored beanies with the propeller on top and this would be my screensaver!

OMG: NPH on SNL, and HIMYM, and D.H., M.D.

My friend Diane saw Neil Patrick Harris walking the streets of New York last week, and it made MY day. I don't quite know why, but NPH has re-stolen America's hearts of late, and I thought I would try to deconstruct his triumphant climb back to the top from the collection of 90s child-stars long forgotten.

It began, for me at least, with a little movie entitled Starship Troopers, the film famous for (at least at the time) using the most ammunition of any movie… ever. I was so happy to see Doogie Howser back on screen, especially in a movie I find perfect in so many ways. The public's love affair with Neil Patrick Harris, however, was rekindled with his cameo in Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. I think the part really resonated with everyone watching because in the film, NPH became what the entire country already assumed he had become based on the 'brat pack' mentality of two parts drugs and alcohol addiction, one part penchant for strippers. Some people might have known he starred in "Cabaret" on Broadway, or seen him in single episodes of shows on television, but for the most part Harold and Kumar was his popular culture return. Neil Patrick Harris then became a bit of a phenomenon, maybe not at the level of Chuck Norris references (my favorite being: Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one), but there was certainly buzz about him in a way I don't think anyone expected post-Doogie years.

What could have been a simple blip on the radar of pop culture however became something much more when Harris was cast as Barney Stinson on How I Met Your Mother, one of the strongest comedies on television today. The show has earned him, count 'em, TWO Teen Choice Awards nominations (as well as two Emmy nominations, and a Golden Globe nomination), and he is certainly the "it" factor that keeps HIMYM at the top of its game.

Harris also seems to have a weird and innovative way of staying relevant in pop culture beyond what most actors would pursue. His choice to do Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, the musical penned by Joss Whedon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame, speaks of his ability to sense a winner. The three-part series (though recently Whedon announced that Dr. Horrible will return) was named the fourth best television series of 2008 by Time magazine, even though the musical was created for the internet, and never actually aired on television. Whedon had cut his musical chops when he composed "Once More with Feeling," the famous Buffy musical episode, but he really hit a homerun with Dr. Horrible with NPH starring as the wannabe-villain.

With Harris' recent stint on Saturday Night Live, it's clear that he's become more than just a cameo in a two hour advertisement for steamed mini burgers. I certainly enjoyed the Digital Short this past weekend featuring the orchestration of the Doogie Howser, M.D. theme song, but I'm pretty sure NPH will be making entirely new memorable roles for years to come.

An Ode to Kate Winslet

I tend to end up disliking most actors / actresses after they've been in a certain number of films, because let's face it, most of them have a shelf life - not Kate Winslet. She's Awesome. She was just as awesome before she won both Golden Globes, and she'll be equally awesome in 10 years. Trust me. She also really deserved those two awards the other night because she's been snubbed sooo hard in the past. She was nominated for 5 Oscars and 5 Golden Globes (as well as a ton of other awards she didn't win) for some kick-ass performances.

The one I'm most bugged about her not winning was the Emmy for her guest appearance on Extras. Hilariously enough, as Ricky Gervais pointed out at the Golden Globes (and a reference to a line of Winslet's from Extras), if you do a movie about the Holocaust, the awards will follow. Clever girl, Kate Winslet, clever girl.

I Recommend This:

I'm gonna start recommending more things... I recommended Boxee a couple weeks ago, now I'm gonna start recommending some other stuff.

This time, it's ClarkandMichael, the brainchild of Clark Duke and Michael Cera. It's a web-series about the two friends trying to sell a script in Hollywood. It's written/improv and hilarious. There are only 10 Episodes, but they're all great. Check it out.