I was wrong.

So... I watched the full first episode of The Real World: Brooklyn last night, and I'm disappointed. While the cast may not get drunk and hump each other every episode, it is still the same collection of self-important attention whores it has been for the past 12ish seasons. The cast does seem smarter... sort of, but I spent most of the neverending hour wishing the story would stop.

Katelyn was really intelligent at the panel I attended. However, she was also a talkative know-it-all, and it shows on screen.

Scott seems like the most boring person in the world (with great abs).

Also, Baya and Devyn haven't really had much screen time. I'm bored.

J.D. takes himself waaay too seriously, and it's 100% clear that his ruptured home life has made personal belongings and appearance his own form of structure.

Chet is gay. Chet is mormon. So Chet can't be gay. But he is.

Sarah is, I guess intriguing. Still, I don't really care.

Ryan is hilarious and outspoken, but unfortunately the things that come out of his mouth when it comes to real issues reflect a larger issue that needs to be addressed in this country: the education system.

This is one of my more serious posts about a show that, up to this point, does not merit serious discussion except to point out the shortcomings of the cast's intelligence. I stand by my feeling that this season will be different, and that it will change the way that The Real World is perceived by audiences. But I guess it doesn't make me feel better about the general intelligence of the chosen eight...

Tonight We're Gonna Party Like It's 1999

Kevin Smith has no place in entertainment after 1999.

1999 was the year that Dogma came out. Dogma was a really smart, funny movie. After Dogma, Kevin Smith directed Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Clerks II: sad, immature, repetitive musings longing for Star Wars in a galaxy where Star Wars is so passé. What I mean to say is that Star Wars was awesome in 1999 because that was when everyone was anticipating the release of Episode I and the whole franchise wasn’t ruined by George Lucas and terrible CGI effects.

Back to Kevin Smith. He sucks. Other than the two mentioned above, he had a hand in Zack and Miri Make A Porno (awful), Jersey Girl (awful, except for the "Sweeney Todd" scene, which was hilarious), a couple of TV shows, and the Untitled Prince Documentary I haven’t seen. And will never see. The only real remnants of his legacy of the 90s are reincarnations of his previous characters filled with fart and f*** jokes that take the simple approach to humor. By simple, I mean the Forrest Gump level of understanding needed to get them.

Also, Dante and Randall are basic carbon copies of the Jay and Silent Bob relationship: one skinny blond obnoxious dude and one rational less-attractive guy. Dante (and obviously Silent Bob) is essentially, dun dun dun, Kevin Smith, and in Clerks II Kevin Smith (I mean Dante) gets to bang a hot blond chick and Rosario Dawson. Childhood fantasy much?

Kevin Smith was awesome. 10 years ago. Harvey Dent said in The Dark Knight: “you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” I’m not implying I want Kevin Smith to die, I just wish he stopped making movies. Please.

YAY! TV That Sets Us Back a Century!!!

The concept is simple: take 32 women and have them compete for three men they’ve never met… and their mothers. The show Momma's Boys has gotten a lot of flack because one of the mothers, Khalood Bojanowski, or Mrs. B as they refer to her (mostly because I think her last name is too hard to pronounce for half of the contestants) is completely racist and devoid of anything remotely PC. I honestly have less of a problem with her persona, and more of an issue with the formula of the show.

These men, once again are placed on a pedestal for no apparent reason; all of the men are in their mid twenties and still live at home, none of their careers seem especially grandiose, and even their looks are nothing to write home about. If we’re going to be superficial about it: JoJo is a pushover with no personality and a lisp, Rob is goofy-looking in general, and Michael is a firefighter (high probability of burns and probably not particularly smart if his job is to run towards the flames). I’m shocked that women with advanced degrees, women who have entered the workforce as educated members of society are resorting to this kind of series to break into television, or (and I truly hope this is none of their goals) to meet a man. I watched them each run to grab a cell phone and wait for a text message to decide their fate in the show. It's the Post-It break up of Prime Time TV, Berger lives! This also personally annoys me because they all have blackberrys and their text message ring is the same as mine... and for 5 minutes of the show I think I'm popular... But I'm not. Some of the ladies clearly have IQs comparable to Britney Spears’ but I’m shocked that the rest of them are resorting to something so offensive to their sexual identity. What are they competing for besides screen time? What is the prize? I’m baffled.

Now add Khalood Bojanowski, a mother of Iraqi descent who refuses to let her son date anything but a pure Catholic white girl. She goes so far as to make a laundry list of all the qualities she shuns (no Blacks, Jews, or Fat Butt girls need apply). After seeing this footage many of the minority women were visibly upset, but not a single one decided to leave after learning of this particular casting choice. While the audience is only given certain footage, it seems as if some of the ladies were even more excited about the prospect of nailing the racist lady’s son just to spite her ways. Ridiculous.

Ultimately the show just goes to prove that these guys tend to go for blond, big boobed, fake women. Porn fantasies. And women go for men... any men, apparently. Also, why are there friggin challenges in this show? I see no purpose for the challenges. Ryan Seacrest, I hate you and your fake tan.

Here are some important questions:

Why the heck would the son-to the-devil-lady, Damien (I mean JoJo) allow his racist mother to appear on television, knowing full well that she would disgrace his family?

Does Mrs. B’s racism make us feel better about how kumbayah we are about race these days because we’re no longer outward bigots like her?

Why would this show NEVER work with Daddy’s Girls, or simply men competing for women they’ve never met? There’s a reason the Bachelorette has always been a woman from a previous season.

Check it out.

For those of you who haven't heard of the movie Religulous, Bill Maher's documentary about the fallacies and pitfalls of religion, and their destructive tangible effects... now you have. And you should really watch it. So here's a link:

http://www.watch-movies.net/movies/religulous/

While as a film, it has some serious problems with editing to always make Bill Maher look funny or like he's stumped whoever he's interviewing, overall the documentary is really informative. If you're like me, then you're already a non-believer and I suppose, a bit bias when it comes to the film's content, but I still learned a lot of facts to put in my arsenal of comebacks as to why religion is ridiculous.... or perhaps, why it is religulous.

Book to Movie

Someone should really get their act together and make "Harry Potter" into a movie. I'm pretty sure it'd be a gold mine. But then some jackass at the studios might realize that releasing the 6th movie as a summer blockbuster instead of a Thanksgiving release could possibly give them 10 million extra the opening weekend so they can take on Spiderman. Actually, forget it. I'd much rather just read the books.

I do have a deep desire to see "The Fountainhead" remake. I think it would be a real challenge to do the book justice, and since it gets passed my 30-years-since-it-was-originally-made rule, let's do it. I thought this particular image was pretty hilarious because Lost and the quality of it as art couldn't, in my opinion, be any farther from Ayn Rand. In a show where "live together, die alone" is the most intelligent thing anyone's said, I'm positive that "The Fountainhead" is a little above Sawyer's reading level. Speaking of Lost, I'm definitely going to be writing on that show soon... wait for it.

Just an Observation

I'm a big fan of responsible parenting. I was watching Mary Poppins the other day, and I realized, watching it from an adult perspective, the mother and father essentially let their children hang out with a lady who clearly gave them LSD. And what's more concerning, is that LSD wasn't even invented yet, and since the film was set in the 1910s, Mary Poppins must have invented LSD. So, I put that on the Wikipedia article. Still waiting for it show up.

Book to Movie

Whattup 2009? Today's book that should be made into a movie is "Brave New World." Dystopian societies look sweet on camera. Guy Pearce for the lead? Word. I agree.