Thursday, January 8, 2009

2008: It's Called a Recession, so what were we thinking?


The top 25 grossing films of 2008 were released in list form on IMDB today, and in case you don't care to click on the link, here's the list... and my reactions.

25. You Don't Mess With the Zohan: Didn't see it. Heard it was not funny. I'm not surprised. Adam Sandler was a comedian of the 90s the way Kevin Smith was a director of the 90s. 'Nuff Said.

24. Stepbrothers: had 3 moments where I chuckled, I'm so glad I watched this online.

23. Eagle Eye: I love Michelle Monaghan because she was awesome in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, but you add Shia LaBeouf to any movie and I picture him back in the Even Stevens days on the Disney Channel and cry to myself because we're the same age and he has way more money than I do. Why did you go see this movie? You knew it was bad but you went anyway.

22. Journey to the Center of the Earth: I actually loved this movie. It was stupid, unbelievable and yet predictable at the same time, but if you just go along for the ride it was really entertaining because it didn't take itself seriously. Plus I'll pretty much watch anything with Josh Hutcherson (no, I'm not being a pedophile), I just loved Little Manhattan and he's still got some afterglow from that movie working in his favor. Also RV was surprisingly funny.

21. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor: I'll forgive Brendan Fraser for Journey to the Center of the Earth because I personally liked it, but come on! Rachel Weisz got out of the franchise, and Snoop Dogg was in the sequel. There's nowhere to go but down and you know it.

20. Bolt: I personally thought it was boring, and the only redeemable character was Rhino the Hamster. I understand why it's in the Top 25, and it should be, but it's no The Incredibles.

19. Tropic Thunder: This movie deserves to be in the Top 10, if not in the Top 5. Ben Stiller is a great director, (but I think he was by far the weakest actor in the movie). The movie was the perfect blend of great action, situation comedy, and overall a fantastic dissection of the nature of Hollywood as an industry.

18. Four Christmases: I didn't see it, but I didn't need to to know that it would be terrible. Reese Witherspoon is a decent comedic actress, and the schtick that Vince Vaughn pulls in every single one of his movies always works at least to some degree, but couldn't you tell that the plot would be four vignettes with equally outlandish family members full of gross out humor? Or did you actually want to see that?

17. Juno: I think we gave Diablo Cody the Oscar (last year, which is why it's weird that Juno grossed so much in 2008) because she was all indie and made little Ellen Page say the darndest things. I thought this movie was a "smart" comedy for dumb people. More importantly, it was pretty atrocious the way it treated teen pregnancy.

16. Get Smart: When I finished watching this movie, the only thing I could think was that the projector had skipped lines of dialogue throughout the film. It was poorly edited- the jokes seemed edited for TV and I always thought Maxwell Smart was supposed to be an idiot. Steve Carell's version seemed ultimately quite capable. Didn't like it.

15. Wanted: Badass action, stupid plot. Reminds me of the Angelina Jolie from Gone in 60 Seconds: flat. Also, she would never have sex with James McAvoy, and I thought his casting was an awkward choice.

14. The Incredible Hulk: Didn't see it. Saw enough with The Hulk and while I heard this one was significantly better, I never thought the Hulk was a particularly good hero to put on screen, especially using CGI.

13. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian: I fell asleep during this movie. From what I did see (about 3/4ish) it was definitely better than the first one, but there's a reason Disney dropped the franchise.

12. Mamma Mia!: My God. Make it stop. I saw this movie in a 99 cent theater, and it wasn't even worth that. It's a musical filled with actors who can't dance or sing! Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, and Stellan Skarsgard can't sing or dance. This movie was so awkward to watch that I couldn't even laugh at it. It was THAT bad. The one standout performance by Amanda Seyfried was nice, but even that was ruined by me picturing her as Karen in Mean Girls telling me her boobs could predict if it was raining.

11. Sex and the City: I loved the series, though surpisingly I was never fond of any of the characters. I never understood that. Anyway... this movie was dreadful. I understand why it made the Top 25 and it deserves to make this list, but what a poorly edited, painful-to-watch story. Better than Mamma Mia! but still boring, predictable, and stupid.

10. Horton Hears a Who: Didn't see it. I'm surprised such a short story could fill up a full-length movie, but The Curious Case of Benjamin Button went from a short story to a 3-hour epic... I guess anything's possible.

9. Quantum of Solace: Marc Forster is one of my favorite directors, but this is a mediocre movie. I'm also not a big fan of Paul Haggis, (mostly because Crash is a self-important movie about race that says nothing revelationary or meaningful about race), but the story itself is pretty eh. I'm not a fan.

8. Twilight: Gosh Edward Cullen is just the dreamiest! Whatever. I saw it, it was a teenage vampire Harlequinn Romance movie. Might as well just put Fabio in the thing. If you want to see a cool vampire flick, watch Let The Right One In.

7. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa: Didn't see it. I heard it was actually pretty funny. I liked the first one well enough. David Schimmer plays a hypocondriac giraffe to perfection.

6. Kung Fu Panda: Didn't see it. Thought it would be awful. It got good reviews. I guess I was wrong.

5. Wall-E: It was really cute. Shoe-in to win the Oscar for Best Animated Film.

4. Hancock: I really liked this movie. For the first 5 minutes all I could think was: why does the black superhero have to be the alcoholic, but once I got over that it was pretty great. I thought the Charlize Theron / Will Smith relationship was really weird and I would have been satisfied watching more of a character driven story about Hancock's identity issues and foregone the big finale, but whatever, I liked it a lot.

3. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: I would like to defer to a review of this film in the form of the episode of South Park entitled "The China Problem."

2. Iron Man: Hilarious. Robert Downey Jr. delivers. He's really good. Except in the movie Johnny Be Good. There he was bad.

1. The Dark Knight: We all know this was a fantastic movie.



So.... those are my opinions about the Top 25 at the Box Office last year. I know this isn't a reflection of the best films of 2008, but it's kind of disappointing that it doesn't reflect a higher calibur of filmmaking. My next post, FYI will be a list of some films from 2008 that didn't make this particular list that are well worth checking out.

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